Cousin Itt is currently in residence at the Marvin Gaye Chetwynd exhibition guiding the visitors around Chetwynd's works. We (along with a specially trained translator) have met up with Cousin Itt to ask him questions about how he is finding Nottingham, his string of high profile love interests and how he keeps his hair so long and lustrous.
Interviewer: Is it true that Marvin Gaye Chetwynd asked you to be at this exhibition?
Cousin Itt: Yes we're good friends and we've worked together since 2004. She had heard of my fine tastes in art and my large art collection, and subsequently asked me to partake in a tour of George Stubb's work at the Liverpool Biennial with her; and since then has consulted and involved me in many of her artistic endeavours. With this being her first solo show at a public gallery in the United Kingdom she was aware that she couldn't be here everyday and has asked me to represent her and guide the visitors around her works; which is a great honour for me.
Interviewer: Are the rumours of you two being intimate true?
Cousin Itt: I wish! I've been pursuing her relentlessly, even before our work began, sadly she still eludes my grasp.
Interviewer: Marvin told us that you are a bit of a womaniser, is this true?
Cousin Itt: It is true that I do appreciate women in their many fine forms and have had many a high profile companion. Women just can't resist me! I simply cannot help them flinging themselves at me. This can make me sound like somewhat of a rakish cad but I must stress that each of my relationships is deep and profound – even if they do sometimes attract the scandal of the press.
Interviewer: How are you finding the women of Nottingham?
Cousin Itt: I've seen many a fine filly! There are some particularly fetching gallery assistants who I've had my eye on and there have been so many beautiful visitors! That being said I find some of the women visitors to the exhibition being rather too forward with me, many wanting to caress my long golden mane; which I must add is a pleasure which I reserve for those whom I keep in my most intimate circles.
Interviewer: How have you been finding Nottingham itself?
Cousin Itt: I've enjoyed it thus far but it's been rather a bit too rainy for my tastes, it's a good job that I am confined to the galleries for if I venture out in the rain my hair goes into an awfully frizzy and unmanageable state.
Interviewer: Speaking of your hair, how do you keep it in such good condition?
Cousin Itt: I have a team of haircare professionals with me at all times, and you should never ever underestimate the power of product. I also indulge in two hot oil treatments a week, it's an expensive business looking this good.
Interviewer: What is your favourite work within the exhibition?
Cousin Itt: A Tax Haven Run by Women, all those women dressed as Mae West dancing about rather tickles my fancy and brings back fond memories. Aside from that I rather like it when the brain bug is in action as he is someone who understands my language, even if he cannot speak it back.
Interviewer: Do you have any of Chetwynd's work within your collection?
Cousin Itt: Yes I have some private pieces which were given to me as tokens of her gratitude for the work I have done for her.
Interviewer: What is the most famous piece of work within your collection? Do you have any tips for aspiring art collectors?
Cousin Itt: I am an avid fan of George Stubbs and have some of his rarest pieces, so some of those are probably the most valuable. In terms advice for collectors I suggest buying fantasy artwork, I am a huge supporter of this rather overlooked genre.
Interviewer: Do you ever commission works?
Cousin Itt: I cannot create my own artworks as I have no arms so I have to commission works. I have several skilled painters within my inner circle who I commission to create fantasy artworks of my companions.
Interviewer: I've seen a few of these works, how do you get people like Barbara Streisand and Elizabeth Taylor to pose for these paintings?
Cousin Itt: I seduced them with my wit and charm, of course my flowing locks were also a contributing factor but I like to think that I had deeply passionate connections with both these women. Barbara often still calls me begging me to take her back, but Taylor Swift doesn't like me taking her calls, Taylor is a jealous and possessive lover.
Interviewer: Did you enjoy the Green Room performance created for Nottingham Contemporary?
Cousin Itt: I would have loved to have attended the Green Room however I had prior commitments serving the good people of Nottingham in the upper galleries. I have heard that it was a great success, and it was nice to see Marvin using other hairy characters like Chewbacca and his family. With Marvin using hairy characters so prominently within her works it rather seems like she is singlehandedly trying to bring hairyness into vogue, not that it ever really went out of vogue in my opinion.
Interviewer: What does the future hold for you when the exhibition finishes?
Cousin Itt: I am planning a holiday to my secret desert island where I plan to drink fine wines and dance on the beach with Taylor. I also have a few artworks which I wish to add to my collection. I also am looking at commissioning a new fantasy artwork featuring Jennifer Lawrence and some leopards.